Maybe, just possibly.....
When I set a goal to run a marathon a few years ago I thought there was very little chance that I would actually achieve it, but I liked how aspiring to the goal made me feel. I felt hopeful, optimistic, and expansive. There wasn’t a sense that this was something I should do. Rather, it felt more like, “Who knows, maybe, just possibly, this thing that feels really impossible could be possible”. Just that hint of possibility felt fun and joyful. Even thinking back on it years later makes me smile in my body.
So I started training, running a short distance each day. Running every day was new for me, but the distances were not unfamiliar and gave me the courage to keep pushing forward. The middle distances were more awkward and uncomfortable and often I wanted to quit, but the curiosity about whether it might be possible to actually run the marathon and the hope it inspired kept me putting on my sneakers every day. When I reached the part of training that involved long runs there were many, many instances when my mind offered the thought, “I’m not built for this. Some people may be able to do this, but it’s just not how I’m made.” But I started seeing those thoughts as no more true than the thought that I might be able to do it. Both were just thoughts, after all, and one definitely was more enjoyable than the other…
This feeling of joy in the body, of hope in the heart, of expansiveness and potential …. This is what I feel when I practice Empathetic Joy. This feeling of optimism that "Maybe, just possibly, this thing that feels really impossible could be possible.”
The practice of Empathetic Joy invites us to train in feeling joy for others’ joy. The early miles involve bringing into our awareness loved ones, imagining them experiencing good fortune, and then feeling joy with them. This part of the practice often feels doable, even familiar. We have likely done it many times, though maybe not as part of a formal practice. The “middle distances” up the ante. We explore expanding our ability to feel joy for the good fortune of strangers and others outside of our close circle of loved ones. We may feel a bit awkward or uncomfortable, but we keep practicing, motivated by a sense of optimism and potential. Doubts begin to surface in earnest during the “long runs”. When the practice expands and asks us to explore feeling joy for the good fortune of people with whom we are or have been in conflict or who we don’t like we become aware of the thoughts like “I’m not built for this. Some people may be able to do this, but it’s just not how I’m made.” In these moments, we have the opportunity to see any thought - and particularly limiting thoughts - as… just thoughts. We get to choose in those moments whether to believe them or not. We get to sense into the body and notice which thoughts lift us up, helping us feel bigger than we were the moment before, and which thoughts pull us down and hem us in.
We hope you will join us this week as we explore all sorts of different meditation and mindfulness practices, including Empathetic Joy, by conference call, zoom an in-person. As always, we welcome your suggestions for other ways we can support your mindfulness practice, and we thank you for your donations, which make all our work possible.
May all beings without exception find joy in contemplating what might be possible.
Your CMP family
