Shakers Anonymous

Humans have a deep, intrinsic need to belong - to feel a part of a community, to be seen, received, accepted and valued. The pain of not feeling like we belong is as strong as physical pain, cutting us to the core. We’ve all felt it at one time or another. In the best case, it’s a short experience, confined to a specific situation, and then we find our way back to our own sense of value, or to a group who receives us as we are. In the worst of situations, it’s prolonged and we can’t make our way back “home”.

A prolonged sense of not belonging - of standing on the outside, of believing we are not what or who we need to be in order to belong - is excruciating, so sometimes we try to fit in, to change ourselves in order to belong. Instead of standing on the powerful, solid ground of self-acceptance - of knowing who we are and what we value - we see ourselves from the hazy, shaky, shifting sands of what we believe others want of us. We become a mirage unto ourselves and others. We lose connection with ourselves, and without a connection to ourselves there is no way to connect with others. The shimmering oasis of belonging lies always just out of reach.

We have a crisis of connection - a crisis of belonging - in our country. We need to create a culture shift, from separation to connection.

We can start this in our own meditation practice. Taking a seat, softening our gaze, and seeing each new breath as a chance to welcome ourselves into the present moment, to see ourselves, and accept and love ourselves as we are. Each breath, a chance to say to ourselves, “I see you. Welcome. You belong.” When we foster this deep, unconditional connection with ourselves, we can begin accepting and connecting with others. It doesn’t mean that we agree with everyone's views or actions. It means we see each person and value them as human beings. We can argue over strategies for navigating life, we can work tirelessly for change, but first we connect at the level of our shared humanity.

Imagine what we could accomplish as a nation, as a species, if we saw each other as all being on the same team. Imagine how many acts of violence would not happen if we all felt we belonged. Imagine the conversations and healthy debates that could take place, from which new ideas and solutions could spring….