Finding Choice, Power + Kindness

Recently, I found myself sitting in an airport waiting to go visit my daughter.  The fog and wind had scuttled dozens of flights, so the airport was packed.  I sat uncomfortably perched on a cement ledge in between a wad of gum and a donut crumb, just one of thousands of people navigating the moment.  

Feeling powerless in the face of a non-negotiable (weather), surrounded by others who were also feeling the stress of the moment (change of plans, loss of sense of control over what's happening, level of frustration), I remembered the concept of limbic resonance.  Limbic resonance is the idea that our nervous systems are interconnected: our emotional experiences are affected by those around us, and our systems synchronize with one another.  

So, when the person perched next to me on the ledge at the airport (in this case, we were eager to get off a literal as well as metaphorical ledge!) was feeling really unsettled by what was happening, I decided to play a game: I thought of all the things I have to be grateful for, I sensed into my inner mountain, I used the feeling of my breath as I inhaled and exhaled and the ebb and flow of sounds to remind myself that this was just a moment in time. 

As I began to feel more calm, I imagined my calmness spreading to those around me.  I imagined that their nervous systems were picking up on my nervous system’s calm and replicating it.  It made me smile! I can't say for sure whether my ledge-mate felt any better, but I felt a renewed sense of control and empowerment and, since this was an act of kindness, I enjoyed the dopamine lift that kindness offers.  

This phenomenon of limbic resonance is one of the reasons that mindfulness in schools is so powerful - if teachers can learn to regulate their own nervous systems in the midst of plenty of non-negotiables, they set the stage for their students to feel more regulated, too.  It also works in organizations and families:  anywhere where groups of people interact.

And who knows:  as we enter an election season full of messages of fear and loss of control, perhaps our own inner-resourcing will support the emotional health of those around us.  

May we all feel the power of noticing moments of choice, power and kindness, even in the midst of life's non-negotiables, 

Erika Long
Co-Founder