Teachers take many shapes
It is said that our meditation teachers come in many forms. Recently, two people joined one of CMP’s zoom sessions and disrupted it deliberately. We were able to remove them and Asha, the facilitator for the session, was able to continue leading a mindfulness meditation. I was attending the session as a participant and witnessed the disruption. As Asha led us through a beautiful meditation, I suddenly realized that I was still caught in the experience of the zoom bombers - reliving the disruption, wondering why they did it, wondering how others had experienced it. The entire incident had lasted less than 60 seconds, yet here I was reliving it on an endless loop ten minutes later, instead of taking advantage of the chance to sit and meditate with the group and under the skillful guidance of the facilitator.
It occurred to me then that this was what we train for - we use meditation to train our minds so that we can be fully present for life, so we can spend less time getting yanked around by mental time travel to past and future scenarios that aren’t actually taking place.
So I asked myself, what is real for me in this moment? The disruption was over and done - it was no longer in the present moment. What was real was the fact that I was sitting comfortably on a chair, safe in my home, practicing meditation in a community of kind-hearted individuals. Moreover, there was the chance to notice every time my mind wandered off into the past to relive the disruption, and the opportunity to bring it back to the safety, peace and joy of the present moment. This ability to “come home” to the present moment felt really good, and reminded me of the agency and empowerment I have. Even better, neuroscience has shown us that each time we bring our attention back to the present moment, we are strengthening our ability to stay in the present moment, or return to it more quickly and easily in the future, so there was optimism and hope that I was improving my mental steadiness.
In the end, the anger and frustration I felt toward the disrupters dissipated and was replaced by a sense of gratitude. To be clear, I wasn’t grateful to them (perhaps that will come with more practice), but I was grateful for what the moment had catalyzed: the experience had reminded me of my agency and ability to direct my attention, and given me a chance to strengthen my connection to the present moment.
Our meditation teachers really do come in many forms.
