The Big Reveal

When we tune in through meditation and mindfulness to our present moment experience, often we’re placing our attention on our breath, or sounds, or sensations in the body, or even on awareness itself. There is another subtle element that is often overlooked but asks to be seen, and that is the energy or tone we bring to our practice.

As we pause and take our “time in”, it can be fascinating and quite illuminating to ask, “What brings me here?” and to take notice, non-judgmentally, of the answer that bubbles up from the depths. In the moment when you encounter that answer, you’ll have a good sense for how you are seeing yourself.

Many of us, unwittingly or wittingly, engage in this act of self-care with an attitude of “self-improvement”, which sounds terribly noble and, on the surface, checks a box on the list of “capable human being” characteristics. But behind the drive toward our “better selves” can hide an insidious message that we need fixing in some way. And if we need fixing, then we must be broken, which is a stone’s throw from “unworthy”.

But what if we pause and settle in with an attitude of self-love and acceptance? Growth and learning come much more readily from a place of capability and care than from a place of deficiency. In fact, research by Brene Brown and others has shown that when we experience shame (the feeling that arises from a negative evaluation of the self) our ability to learn is essentially disabled.

Bob Sharples, Australian school teacher/lawyer/therapist/author/meditator, has written a beautiful passage about meditation that can serve as a guide post for the energy we bring to our practice. He writes, "Don’t meditate to fix yourself, to improve yourself, to redeem yourself; rather, do it as an act of love, of deep warm friendship to yourself. In this way there is no longer any need for the subtle aggression of self-improvement, for the endless guilt of not doing enough. It offers the possibility of an end to the ceaseless round of trying so hard that wraps so many people’s lives in a knot. Instead there is now meditation as an act of love. How endlessly delightful and encouraging.”

Paradoxically, one of the most life-altering truths to arise from a regular meditation practice is the deeply-felt sense that we are whole and good just as we are, not needing to find any missing piece, or peace, outside of ourselves. That truth is so much more accessible if we start our practice with kindness towards ourselves. Suzuki Roshi summed it up perfectly when he said, “We are all perfect, with room for improvement.”

We hope that you can join us as we practice deep warm friendships toward ourselves,

Your CMP family

P.S. A bow of gratitude to Melli O’Brien, aka "Mrs. Mindfulness" on whose website we found the Bob Sharples excerpt (and many other great resources to support our practice over the years - thanks, Melli!).

P.P.S. Check out the new "New and Noteworthy" section on the CMP website for items that are, well, new and noteworthy!