Resilient Caring a Wish Away
Every day offers an opportunity for us to experience an incomprehensibly broad spectrum of emotions. These days we may be experiencing forms of grief as we mourn the parts of life that we have given up. Minutes later we may sense un upwelling of joy as we uncover some “silver lining” from our new lifestyle.
Similarly, we may feel a deep sense of gratitude if we find ourselves in a warm, dry, safe place with access to food and other creature comforts. This may be followed shortly thereafter with a wave of “survivor’s guilt” as we acknowledge all the people who aren’t as fortunate. Both of these emotions, just like the grief and the joy noted above, are to be acknowledged and honored as part of our human experience in this moment.
Contemplating the struggles that COVID is causing for so many people who live with insufficient food, housing, employment or healthcare can be daunting. It can be helpful to look at the four ways we can respond to this suffering.
1. With pity - where there is a sense of distance between ourselves and the person who is struggling. Expressed in words, it might sound like, “I’m so happy I’m not in your shoes. Good luck.” Flat, distant, no connection, a tinge of judgment.
2. With sympathy - where there is no judgment, but still a fair bit of distance between ourselves and the person struggling. Expressed in words it might sound like, “I feel bad for you.”
3. With empathy - where we see the world through the eyes of the person who is struggling. There is a real connection - so much so, in fact, that we essentially take on the pain of the other. Expressed in words, it might sound like, “I feel bad with you.” Neurologically, the pain area of our brain lights up as if we were experiencing the same suffering. It’s a wonderfully essential component of human caring, and also incredibly depleting.
4. With compassion - where we start by seeing the world through the eyes of the person who is struggling, and then we add a wish for their well-being. Expressed in words, this might sound like, “I’m sorry you’re suffering. I’d like to help, even if it means just holding you in my heart and keeping you in my thoughts.” This sets off a cascade of neurological events that - rather than depleting us - actually builds our resilience. Dopamine (motivation), oxytocin (human bonding) and serotonin (anti-anxiety) are all released into our nervous system.
Essentially, compassion allows us to witness the suffering of others without being depleted, and conditions us to wish for an end to their suffering so that when the time comes for us to help in some way, we will be aware of the need, and capable of filling it, even if in the moment we are powerless to alleviate the suffering directly.
We hope that you can join us this week as we explore this and many other meditation practices on the seventeen dial-in live meditation calls that are offered each week (see details below).
May all beings feel safe and supported,
Your CMP Family
New and Notable:
Note of Enduring Gratitude: We've freshened up our website!!! By "we", we mean our amazing website development team, Open Fields Marketing. They have been our partners from day one and went out of their way to support us during this time when we're trying to fulfill our mission of "Meditation for all who want it" without our usual revenue stream. Huge shout out to Amy and Megan!!!
Note of Temporary Sadness: We have cancelled this year’s spring retreat. When it becomes clear that we can safely sit together in person, we’ll be back with an updated date.
Poems Recommended by the Community:
Last week we invited community members to share poems from which they draw inspiration. If there is one that you love, please let us know and we'll share it!
A Prayer in Spring by Robert Frost
At The Corner Store by Alice Luterman
The Clearing by Martha Postlewaite
Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke's
Poppies & the Sun by Mary Oliver
The Messenger by Mary Oliver
Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost
Guided Meditations
Visit the CMP website www.CommunityMindfulnessProject.org for guided meditations. You'll find them on the Guided Meditations page under the Resources tab.
We Need Your Support - Especially Now
CMP thrives on donations. All of our weekly sessions are free and open to the public, but donations are essential to our sustainability. CMP is a licensed charity in the state of CT as a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. Checks can be given to facilitators at our weekly sits or mailed to Community Mindfulness Project, P.O. Box 1713, New Canaan, CT 06840. Credit cards are accepted in the Giving section of the website. For donations of wired funds or appreciated securities, please email welcome@communitymind.org. Thank you!
