Empathetic Joy IRL
How are you? I hope that you're feeling well-rested and comfortable. Life has its own ideas, sometimes, though, as I was reminded recently.
After a long day of travel to visit my daughter in DC, made even longer by poor weather, I was finally crawling into a hotel room bed. It was late and I was desperate for a good night's sleep. Just as I was dozing off, there was a racket in the hallway. A tidal wave of school kids had arrived on the floor. They raced from room to room, calling out to each other, banging on and slamming doors. I seemed to be surrounded on all sides - an adult island in a sea of tweenage mayhem.
"How could the hotel have put me in the midst of this? Weren't there any chaperones? It's late for god's sake!" I could feel my body tensing up and my hopes of a good night's sleep slipping away.
But then I remembered the phrase, "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf." How could I "surf" this moment? I began to offer myself some deep breaths, extending the exhales to let my brain know that I wasn't in imminent danger - just annoyed. I brought attention into my hands, my jaw, my legs, noticing how they loosened a bit as I did this. To get out of the looping thoughts of "this is so unfair", I decided to open myself to the sounds, using them to anchor me in the present moment, instead of thinking of how tired I would be in the morning.
And then the magic happened. As I listened to the hustle and bustle in the hallway, I could hear the joy in the kids' voices, the excitement of being on a school trip, the sense of adventure. I began to open to that joy, inviting myself to share in it and experience joy for their joy, joy with their joy. I remembered back to my own fifth grade trip to Washington DC. By my recollection, it was my first time in a "real" hotel (our family vacations involved sleeping bags in tents), and everything seemed new and exotic (a TV! an ice machine!). I began to wish for them to have as memorable an experience as I had had some 40 years ago. And as my relationship to the moment shifted from sense of threat to opportunity for joy.... I fell asleep.
At it's core, mindfulness is a doorway to our own power and agency. We can't control all that arises in life - and sometimes that's a good thing. Thanks to those joy-filled kids, I got to relive a fond but forgotten childhood memory, and to share in the their excitement and adventure.
So I genuinely hope that you are well-rested and comfortable today, and if life happens to present a detour, I hope you enjoy the chance to surf.
We invite you to join us in any of our live sessions - in-person or virtually - where you'll get the moral support of others trying to build their mindfulness muscles, too. Sessions are free and open to all, supported by donations.
We've included a few short guided meditations below, and there are lots of other meditations available on the website to get you started, or re-started, or help you continue your mindfulness journey.
We look forward to practicing with you! And if there is another way we can support you in your practice, please reach out. We are here for you.
Erika Long
Co-Founder