Announcing our new Executive Director, Ella Crivello

Meditation transformed my life… and has led me to a new purpose.

Let me explain: I welcomed my first child in October 2020 after 9 months of pregnancy and quarantine in a 1.5 bedroom apartment in nyc marked by fear that paralleled my experiences on 9/11. 

I wore a mask, no visitors were allowed in the hospital and I was essentially alone with a newborn in deep isolation for the first 3 months... Shout out to my co-parent who did get some family leave but as it is for many non-birthing parents - it was fiercely unequal. 

I saw a tweet during my maternity leave that struck me: 
"I encourage anyone who thinks of maternity leave as ‘time off’ to get hit by a truck, ingest 9 tons of hormones, and then stay awake for 3-6 months while trying to feed a newborn with your broken body." 

I both laughed and cried when I read that because it is so true that it hurt. I was an extrovert recovering from a c-section, completely unable to have access to the people and resources I needed most: my family, friends, my gym, all of my routines that I was still grieving the loss of. 

Unable to rely on external validators and resources, I turned inwards to find new ways of relieving stress, anxiety, and the barrage of traumatic daily events. I found solace in the trial and error of meditation. I started at the times when my mind was quietest: right before bed. Guided by voice through various apps that are built for accessibility and privacy, but that I had the privilege to pay for. 

I was alone, reminding myself that despite the greatest exhaustion I had ever felt, a first step I could take is to simply close my eyes and pay attention to my breath. While it wouldn’t solve every problem, it could at least help me to stop the inevitable bedtime fidgeting, worry and have a healthy vehicle to fall asleep. 

It worked. 

Not only was I falling asleep more quickly, but I was sleeping more deeply. And I was kinder to myself when I was awake. I felt a profound peace simply because I gave myself space to breathe intentionally.

I’ve come to realize that mindfulness can be as integral to our health as brushing your teeth everyday. And it should be as accessible a tool as a toothbrush.

Those that meditate often speak of it as a practice. It isn’t easy, and nothing worth doing has ever been. Building this new muscle often feels as tricky and imperfect as building other muscles.

Boost of goodwill.

Adrenaline rush.

Tear.

Repair.

Repeat. 

But ease was never the goal. I accept that effort is required for all things worth my energy and focus.

So much of the decline in mental wellness and the rise of mental disorders can tie back to systemic inequity and loneliness. We have a loneliness epidemic in America. That has been exacerbated and deepened since the impact of COVID19. Loneliness can cost us an estimated 15 years of life expectancy. But when we come together to support each other as a community, we are more connected and ever more resilient.

Now, why am I sharing such a personal story on a professional platform? Because this journey over the past three years has brought me to my next and greatest professional challenge yet. 

This August, I embarked on a new chapter as the first Executive Director of our nonprofit focused on bringing the tools of mindfulness to communities and populations with high unmet health needs.

For years in the US, these tools have been sheltered behind the inaccessible walls of expensive retreat centers for the very few or privatized by apps and corporations - though their efforts have certainly raised awareness they are inadvertently limiting who benefits. We're changing that. We focus on reaching people where they are: in public schools, in maternal health clinics and hospitals, in libraries, and our trusted communities where we gather to learn and grow. 

I’d love to chat with you if you’re interested in collaborating with us. For those that have worked with me in the past, you know my partnership wheels continue to turn! For those of you that I haven’t met yet, I look forward to meeting you.

With much gratitude and excitement for our future,

Ella